I Can’t Believe I Did This – Would you EVER?!

January 10, 2012 By 1 Comment

I was getting divorced and my life was crashing around my ears – and I decided to do the unthinkable…

I took 2 weeks off and went to Costa Rica.

Alone. Without my kid. Without my computer. 

Now, this may not seem crazy to you, but for a single-mom, almost divorced, self-employed work-a-holic, taking 2 weeks to just go hang out in the rain forest was pretty far fetched.

But I had support from my community of friends I met through (Ariel & Shya Kane’s workshops) and I took the leap. 

Two weeks away changed everything.

I came home refreshed, grounded, and revitalized – more than that, I was truly in love with my work again, and I was truly in love with my son again.

Yeah, these were tough secrets to admit – that I was losing my passion for my work, that I was overworked and not taking good care of myself, and that I was getting so fed up (especially as a single parent) that there were weeks I couldn’t wait for the Dad to come take over for a few days.

I learned the value of self-care in a way that I hadn’t really understood until then.

Like my family from Texas always says: 

If Mama ain’t happy, no one’s happy. 

In a few days I’ll be leaving for Costa Rica for my second 2-week R&R adventure. With supportive people I like, who are excited to help me be my best self, with no duties or agenda, without my laptop.

And I will come home stronger, loving life, and healthy. Isn’t that what true health is?

(Don’t worry, my son will be with his Dad globe-trotting and learning everything about being a producer/director while splitting his vacation at the BBC in London and Sundance in Utah.)

So here’s the big question for you, dearheart ~

What are YOU doing to take care of yourself?

Are you burning the candle at both ends and not getting enough sleep, sex, greens, laughter?

What’s ONE thing you can do NOW to romance yourself, feel calm, or love yourself more?

Go to my FB page and tell me what you’re doing for yourself -

You might surprise yourself, and you may inspire someone else, too!

Filed Under: self care menu

Alex Answers: Late Night Eating – What To Eat? How To Stop It?

August 24, 2011 By 5 Comments

This theme of “late night eating sabotage” is so common, and is so in line with my upcoming Delicious Detox program, that I thought I should share this juicy information so everyone can use it, not just my new members.

This question came from Rachel:

“For about 7 months, I’ve been eating a vegan, whole foods diet. And I love it. I’m also counting calories as well. I’ve lost 20 pounds and feel great as I’ve reached my goal weight.  But now things are getting more difficult. I feel like all day, I do great health wise. I eat a green smoothie for breakfast, a healthy lunch, lots of fruit, a healthy dinner…

But then…I don’t know what happens, but I go crazy and end up splurging on dessert, then raiding the pantry at night. Before, I could easily eat 1200-1300 calories a day and feel great. Now, I’m finding it hard to stay under 2,000 calories!

I don’t know if you have any advice for this problem, or maybe a recipe for some low-cal vegan nighttime snacks…”

Alex Answers:

Rachel, this is such an awesome topic. Late night eating can be a tough habit to break. You’ve spent a busy day working, being responsible, eating the “right” foods, commuting, planning your meals for the next day, and cleaning up your house, now you just want to chill and de-stress…

And just as you’re about to get comfortable with the TV, boy/girlfriend, or magazine, your cravings start coming up.

NO! You scream at yourself furiously.

I’ve been so good!

Don’t crave that chocolate/cheese/potato chips/glass of wine…you’ll ruin all the hard work from today and feel lousy about yourself!

But I WANT it! I deserve it! Gimme.

The judgement and self-loathing start to pile on and your hard-earned relaxation time is now a frustrating, stressful wrestling match of the mind.

How can you end that nightly civil war so you don’t end up in front of the fridge or cupboard searching for fatty, sugary snacks?

Let’s take a step back and take stock:

Ask yourself: Am I really hungry?

What is my body feeling right now? Am I thirsty? Am I just tired? Do I need a hug, hot shower, massage from my boy/girlfriend? Do I need to tell my wife or husband something that’s been on my mind and won’t rest? Am I craving intimacy and feel lonely at the end of the day because no one’s here? Did I have a fight at work or phone call with a family member that set me off today?

Maybe I need a nice half-hour with my vibrator and some good lube instead of a chocolate bar…believe me, I’ve been there.

Your cravings are telling you something. Listen to your body. Notice the physical sensations that are rising up and where they’re possibly coming from.

Listen to how your body responds to the stimulation of your life. Once you start feeling the sensations your body has stored from the day, you may find your cravings go away on their own.

Another good way to end the late-night-eating-sabotage cycle is to get rid of your TV for a week…or longer. It will totally shake up your evening routine and your nights will have more room for self-care and true relaxation.

Yes, you might be hungry from a long day of work, and sometime a late night snack is exactly what you need. So I’m going to share my top 5 late night snacks that fall in the category of “Totally Awesome Delicious Detox Snacks:”

  1. Frozen grapes or blueberries for a sweet tooth
  2. Light air popped popcorn or plain popcorn popped in paper bag in microwave, drizzled with olive oil and a tiny bit of salt
  3. Raw sauerkraut – it will knock your sweet craving right out!
  4. Fruit “ice cream” – peel a banana, freeze, blend in a food processor with nuts, berries or raisins and serve
  5. A few raw nuts with a plump, juicy Medjool date

Here’s what you can do now:

If you have specific questions I’d love to hear what you’re struggling with – ask right here or leave a comment. For a forum to share your issues with like-minded people working to change their lives, apply to my 8-Week Delicious Detox Tele-Course. There are only 7 Premium All-Access memberships left, so take a look soon.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: detox recipes, inspiration for women, Mindset, Reboot Detox Program, self care menu

What if taking care of yourself, without the guilt, was the most important thing?

August 12, 2011 By 14 Comments

Do you beat yourself up when there isn’t enough time to take care of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g on your plate when what you really want to do is just take a nap, watch mindless TV, go have lunch with a friend, or find a yoga class?

 

Do you feel guilty for putting your needs first?

 

I have to admit, that ugly monster of guilt sometimes comes into my view too.

 

Just yesterday I took the afternoon off and had some HT Therapy (hammock time in my backyard) and am going to spend this entire weekend at a workshop that I’ve been eagerly awaiting.

 

I could easily have taken this kid-free weekend and set some serious time at chipping away at my favorite work related projects, since my son is with his dad on adventure and I have no one to make breakfast for.

 

But I can already feel that my body + soul are thanking me for taking this time off to rejuvenate, connect with like-minded people, and not work in front of my computer for 6-8 hours a day.

 

I’m taking this time because my massage therapist and acupuncturist have both told me that I need to take it easy or I’m going to burn-out

 

Whoa! I did not want to hear that but it’s true.

 

It’s usually when I have my son to take care of, lots of business projects that I’m juggling, dishes and laundry to finish, and several clients and meetings scheduled that I feel the worst about taking time for myself.

 

It used to be a lot harder to take care of myself when that amount of “to-dos” were on my list.

 

Not anymore.

 

Now I see that my self-care is the oil in the engine that keeps my busy life on track and makes the forward momentum possible.

And I see that the guilt is actually working against my best intentions for true health and vitality.

 

What are your thoughts about taking care of yourself? What’s your guilty self-care story? How can you reframe the way you look at down time, exercise and rejuvenation?

 

Leave a comment here on my blog about what’s in the way of taking care of yourself – I would love to know so that I can offer some great suggestions so you can get back to taking care of yourself without the guilt.

 

Filed Under: Mindset, self care menu Tagged With: , , ,

May = National Masturbation Month & Our Bodies, Ourselves Turns 40!

May 11, 2011 By 2 Comments

May is Rockin’!

Masturbation has been marked a taboo act by most religions and our Puritanical culture, but it’s still the second most common sexual act amongst humans. Heck, other animals enjoy self-pleasuring too! I’ve seen my cat and my friends’ dogs get down with no shame whatsoever, so maybe we can take a hint from Fluffy and Fido and celebrate that May is National Masturbation Month.

Masturbation is so perfectly natural, yet so maligned. I’m happy to report that masturbation can actually be considered part of your health care regime:

Women report a decrease in menstrual cramps and bloating when masturbating, can increase their resistance to yeast infection, and build their pelvic floor muscles which can improve orgasms. For men, masturbation has been documented to improve their immune system and makes for a healthier prostate. Masturbation is also a great form of stress relief, releases endorphins, and burns calories (see my FitBit video here).

How did this fantastic holiday get started?

Back in 1994, the U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders caused a public furor when endorsed masturbation as a safe way to discourage early sexual activity. In response to an audience member’s question about masturbation at the United Nations’ World AIDS Day, Elders said “I think it is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught.”

For that simple statement, the torches were lit and Elders was forced to resign. So much for the first black woman Surgeon General…

The good folks at Good Vibrations, a sex-positive and female oriented sex store in San Francisco, (and, by the way, the place where I bought my first vibrator) decided to get a public debate going about the positive aspects of masturbation for men and women. Hence, National Masturbation Month was born.

(If you’re looking for a good hands-on experience to find your own sex toys in a non-creepy environment and don’t live in San Francisco, you can also visit Toys in Babeland in New York City and Seattle, or go to their website here.)

This May is also the 40th anniversary of the publication of Our Bodies, Ourselves, the seminal reference book on healthy sexuality for women.

Our Bodies Ourselves - National Masturbation Month

This book was devoured by young women (and probably a lot of young men, too!) the world over who were hungry for straight talk and information about their bodies, hormones, emotions, and sexuality. If you haven’t read the book, or you know a woman who is exploring her own sexuality, pick up a copy here!

I’ll be attending a special party next week hosted by Belisa Vranich, nationally recognized “sexpert” and psychologist, to celebrate the authors and publication of Our Bodies, Ourselves here in New York City. I’ll be sure to post some photos!

Finally, if you’re curious about discovering true physical intimacy with others or yourself, you simply MUST listen to this week’s podcast from Ariel & Shya Kane titled “Let’s Get Physical!”

being here with ariel & shya kane: let's get physical

The Kane’s wonderful internet radio show Being Here will “support you in dissolving those old limiting ideas and inhibitions so that you can be free and natural with yourself and/or your partner.”

Filed Under: inspiration for women, Natural Energy Tips, Natural Pain Relief, self care menu, Women's Health, women's sexual health Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

May = National Masturbation Month & Our Bodies, Ourselves Turns 40!

May 11, 2011 By 2 Comments

May is Rockin’!

Masturbation has been marked a taboo act by most religions and our Puritanical culture, but it’s still the second most common sexual act amongst humans. Heck, other animals enjoy self-pleasuring too! I’ve seen my cat and my friends’ dogs get down with no shame whatsoever, so maybe we can take a hint from Fluffy and Fido and celebrate that May is National Masturbation Month.

Masturbation is so perfectly natural, yet so maligned. I’m happy to report that masturbation can actually be considered part of your health care regime:

Women report a decrease in menstrual cramps and bloating when masturbating, can increase their resistance to yeast infection, and build their pelvic floor muscles which can improve orgasms. For men, masturbation has been documented to improve their immune system and makes for a healthier prostate. Masturbation is also a great form of stress relief, releases endorphins, and burns calories (see my FitBit video here).

How did this fantastic holiday get started?

Back in 1994, the U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders caused a public furor when endorsed masturbation as a safe way to discourage early sexual activity. In response to an audience member’s question about masturbation at the United Nations’ World AIDS Day, Elders said “I think it is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught.”

For that simple statement, the torches were lit and Elders was forced to resign. So much for the first black woman Surgeon General…

The good folks at Good Vibrations, a sex-positive and female oriented sex store in San Francisco, (and, by the way, the place where I bought my first vibrator) decided to get a public debate going about the positive aspects of masturbation for men and women. Hence, National Masturbation Month was born.

(If you’re looking for a good hands-on experience to find your own sex toys in a non-creepy environment and don’t live in San Francisco, you can also visit Toys in Babeland in New York City and Seattle, or go to their website here.)

This May is also the 40th anniversary of the publication of Our Bodies, Ourselves, the seminal reference book on healthy sexuality for women.

Our Bodies Ourselves - National Masturbation Month

This book was devoured by young women (and probably a lot of young men, too!) the world over who were hungry for straight talk and information about their bodies, hormones, emotions, and sexuality. If you haven’t read the book, or you know a woman who is exploring her own sexuality, pick up a copy here!

I’ll be attending a special party next week hosted by Belisa Vranich, nationally recognized “sexpert” and psychologist, to celebrate the authors and publication of Our Bodies, Ourselves here in New York City. I’ll be sure to post some photos!

Finally, if you’re curious about discovering true physical intimacy with others or yourself, you simply MUST listen to this week’s podcast from Ariel & Shya Kane titled “Let’s Get Physical!”

being here with ariel & shya kane: let's get physical

The Kane’s wonderful internet radio show Being Here will “support you in dissolving those old limiting ideas and inhibitions so that you can be free and natural with yourself and/or your partner.”

Filed Under: inspiration for women, Natural Energy Tips, Natural Pain Relief, self care menu, Women's Health, women's sexual health Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

STRESS: The Weightiest Problem For Busy Women

March 30, 2010 By 3 Comments

Did you know that the amount of stress you feel, and how you deal with it, can totally determine whether you lose or gain weight?

My clients are busy women – they work hard, run their own businesses, take care of their family, travel, cook, clean, go to school, volunteer, write, create, take on huge amounts of responsibility and rarely have quiet time for themselves. They are stressed to the max!

The frustrating thing is that many women still find time to exercise on a regular basis and even revamp their diets so that they’re eating better than ever before – and they STILL can’t lose weight.

Here’s the thing: it’s not the amount of exercise (or maybe it IS), or the diet that’s the main problem.

It’s the amount of stress women feel on a daily basis that keeps the weight on.

The amount of constant, low-level stress humans experience on a daily basis is unnatural and new. By “new” I mean recent in human history. Never before have we been bombarded with stimuli like texts, voice mail, cell phones, emails, streaming video, 24-hour news channels, reality television, radio, schedules, alarm clocks, deadlines, and advertising. Up until a few generations ago, we didn’t even have electric lights! We got up with the sun and went to bed with the sun. Ponder that for a moment.

When I work with busy, stressed-out women who constantly focus on how they can’t lose weight, I often put them on a media diet:
- turn off the tv after 6pm
- no tv in the bedroom EVER
- go computer free on the weekends

Besides lowering the amount of tiny stressors like texts and email alerts, learning how to incorporate daily, even hourly, stress relievers will help the body and mind calm down and stop producing the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline. These two lovelies set the body up to hold on to fat in anticipation of fight or flight – which was useful when we were living in mud huts and gathering our food in the wild.

My favorite ways to relax during the day are:
- look up a relaxtion meditation video on Youtube
- drink a glass of water every hour
- walk around outside for 5 minutes every 2-3 hours
- stretch in the sunlight or while looking out a window every 2-3 hours
- ride my bike while doing my errands (yes, my 3 year old comes too: I have a bike trailer that can fit one kid and 3-4 bags of groceries)

Bi-weekly or monthly stress reduction techniques include:
- massage
- food rub and pedicure
- sitting in the steam room at my YMCA

Take time out for relaxation on a regular basis for easier weight management. In coming newsletters and blog posts, I’ll be writing more about adrenal fatigue, stress and ways to relax into weight loss.

Are you ready for total body transformation and weight loss?

Join me for my upcoming 4 Week Detox Tele-Course starting April 26th!

Here’s to your health!

Alexandra

Filed Under: self care menu, Weight loss, women's winter wellness and weight loss Tagged With:

Dogs for Detox – How Spot’s Run Saved the Holidays

January 19, 2010 By 2 Comments

Christmas 2009 was a rough holiday season for many of my friends and clients. Not only was traveling long distances on the menu, a heaping dose of family strife and food planning problems were served up. Yet, a few calmer people reported back to me that their holidays were saved by their four-legged friends!

One client, I’ll call her MJ, decided to finally take the family dog on their day-long road trip south to visit the in-laws for Christmas this year. In the past, she had been asked by her husband’s family to leave her pet with friends or in a kennel. This year was different: she asked to bring the dog and keep him in the garage. Little did she know that bringing her favorite pet would dramatically improve her health over the holidays.

Rather than playing into the yearly repeated drama of emotional eating over Christmas (her in-laws are stress inducing to say the least!), MJ used her dog as an excuse to exit the house often for long, relaxing walks. Leaving behind the emotional turmoil, MJ not only got more exercise this Christmas, she didn’t feel the need to push down her sorrows and anger with food and alcohol. Instead of sticking around for the constant family upsets, MJ just removed herself from other people’s dramas and focused on what she loved – sharing quiet walks with her kids, husband and dog.

Thanks Spot!

This is just one of the many free, healthful methods you can use and integrate in your future holiday and travel plans to avoid the common pitfalls of “vacation eating” and emotional bingeing.

(Finally willing to get a pet? Be sure to rescue a friend rather than buying one from a pet farm! Rescue a dog here: http://www.petfinder.com/index.html )

Be well,

Alexandra

Filed Under: healthy holiday tips, self care menu, Uncategorized, Weight loss

Non-toxic Hand Sanitizer (made at home for cheap!)

September 29, 2009 By 7 Comments

IMG_3986Since many of the hand santizers found in stores contain toxic chemicals that I don’t want on my body, I decided to make my own. It was easy and cheap – one bottle cost about $4 to make, and I have enough supplies to make at least 10 more bottles for pennies more. Here’s how it worked:

1. Buy a small spray pump bottle at your local pharmacy or drug store (cost: about $1)

2. Buy a combination of essential oils: grapefruit seed extract, geranium, Young Living Theives,thyme, oregano oil, cinnamon, lavender, etc.

3. Combine 20-30 drops of each oil (I used grapefruit seed and geranium in one, Theives in another) and fill the rest of the bottle with water.

4. Stick a bottle in your purse, diaper bag, stroller, car, etc. Spray 2-4 times on one hand and rub together to disinfect. 

5. Refill when empty.

Filed Under: healthy travel, home made natural care products, self care menu, Uncategorized Tagged With:

Sick in summer? Introducing the Self Care Menu

July 27, 2009 By 4 Comments

I have a confession to make – I have a cold. What I thought were bizarre seasonal allergies turned out to be a cold! How can a Certified Holistic Health Counselor have a cold?! In summer! I’ll tell you, it has more to do with stress than anything else. 

As you know, I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. Writing furiously with my book deadline looming, riding my bike with my 2.5 year old son on the back to the Co-op to buy high-quality, low-price organic food, cooking fresh food daily, working with clients, re-organizing my business and NOT TAKING TIME FOR SELF-CARE have all added up to a summer cold.

Full-time women, those of us who are “on” 24/7 for work and/or family,  just don’t make ourselves a priority. We see the needs of others so easily, but put our own needs at the bottom of the list. Something I counsel my clients about regularly is how important it is to take care of yourself with pampering, stress-reduction techniques, natural body care and emotional soothing. 

So, this week, I am committed to ordering at least one item from my self-care menu every day to get myself and my energy back on track:

- yoga

- meditation

- sugar-scrub in the steam room at the Y

- meeting up for iced tea with friends in the park

- reading a magazine in my hammock

- going to bed early

- dancing to at least 1 song in my house every day

- saying NO to one time-commitment this week 

Choose a rewarding, healing activity every day this week – it can take 5 minutes to walk through the aisles of the library or 30 minutes to watch a funny episode of the Family Guy on www.hulu.com – and it’s free. Print out your own self-care menu and add a few additional ideas on there – crafting, gardening, reading, boxing, singing, writing poetry. Whatever works! 

Here’s to your health,

Alexandra

Filed Under: Natural Energy Tips, self care menu Tagged With: